International Coaching Week

International Coaching Week (ICW) is a great week to make connections, build on your continuous professional development (cpd) and develop your coaching practice no matter what organisation you are affiliated with. I attended several of the IAPC&M masterclasses which are always generous, friendly and insightful.

This year I was in a very distracted place and I found it difficult to engage. I wondered what was going on for me as a coach. So I put together some of the learnings and realisations I had by the end of the week (speakers will be credited below).

Self-care

Pushing through exhaustion is not self-care

Don't feel bad for prioritising yourself

Being busy for the sake of looking busy is being emotionally unavailable

Guilt & shame

Feeling guilt after a perceived wrongdoing is one thing but feeling shame is saying to yourself ' this is who I am', which is never true

''Feeling guilt does not make you bad, it means you care''. Maybe I could have handled that situation differently. How would I like to address this next time? Am I taking on the guilt or shame of others?

Your mind can be your best friend or your greatest enemy

What you think and feel can become how your life plays out. How do you really want your life to play out? Whats holding you back? Be honest with yourself. I found this week that I was apologising to others for the beautiful life I have carved out for myself and my family. So much so, it has paralysed me fully enjoying it. I did not want to be perceived as not achieving other peoples expectations. I do not need to prove myself to others. I do not need to justify my choices. I need to be in alignment with who I am and the life I want to lead. Protecting and over validating other peoples choices by scarcely living myself has felt like a slow death. If you feel gratitude for the life you have carved out then live it fully. What first step could you take towards that today?

You are not responsible for your clients results.

Coaching is a partnering with clients where the client has all the resources within themselves to figure things out but benefits from support, an accountability partner, a creative eye and intuitive ear. If you feel responsible for your clients results then your client is not doing the work. Remember 'fixing is not freeing'.

Heal the Intergenerational money beliefs

If we don't look at our limiting beliefs in every aspect of our life we layer them on like 1970s wallpaper and they become very difficult to peel back. I learned that I believe there isn't enough money for everyone and that I don't deserve it when it comes. When I have money I sabotage myself by giving it away (martyr) feeling I shouldn't have it. Learning to say no clearly and celebrating when money comes to me is something for me to focus on. I am allowed to have money. I am open to recieving money. I deserve money.

Embodiment in coaching

True to form the last talk I attended was going to help me even though I quietly resisted. When a client shows great resistance it can mean that the coach client relationship needs attention and maybe the goal re-clarified. It can also mean that the client is on the cusp of great change but resists or is frightened. If you feel stuck as the coach it may not be just you that doesnt know what the next step is.

Embodiment in coaching is not ignoring the body in the room. Tuning into the clients breathing, your own breathing, the tension, sadness, anger or missed heartbeat brings coaching to a new and deep level.

Though we carry intergenerational traumas we also carry intergenerational resources which in my opinion is a gift. It is enlightening and self empowering. It is felt in the body as a sigh of relief that we are not just here to suffer. We are here to thrive.

Thank you to the IAPC&M (for an action packed week)

Thank you to the following speakers for skillfully bringing very relevant topics to us: Rajeev Nayak, Remi Pearson, Lisa McMurtry, Dawn Campbell, Eileen McCotter Davies, Ilana Jankowitz and Mark Walsh. I look forward to catching up with the other masterclasses that I missed through the IAPC&M members suite.

I realise my resistance this week was my resistance to accept the life I have created. I felt guilty. I wasn't fully embodying how positive my life is. I wasn't valuing myself. I wasn't in alignment with the way I want to live.

Today I feel lucky and blessed to be able to process this. Being able to look truthfully at what is going on in my own life internally and externally makes me better equipped to work along side others with authenticity and congruence.

Aintherese